How to get a man outside the bar!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011 6:58 AM ♥


So before I start, let me just say. I can't believe I came up with this. It is funny and creepy at the same time!





How to get a man outside the bar





So, you want a man, but you are too young to go to any gay club?

Well, do the next best thing. Stand outside the club, and when a hot guy walks out, just scream.

"Ja ja ja ja, shmigle shmigle doo doo pop, hoo hoo, come"

and he will look at you with: fright, wonder, surprise, "Holy shit that scared me", and a large bit creeped out look in his face!!

This means you got his attention. This attention doesn't last long, and you got to make him be yours. So to keep that attention longer, you want to do something dramatic and [c=lime]chic!

Punch some random person in the face. Also make sure not to punch him. You can't get his notice on you if he is in a coma!

After the random punch, the creeped out look will turn to utter fear. And he might think, "oh shit. I gotta get outta here." Because you are too amazing for him.

So he will start to run away, So this is where it get hard and tricky. You must chase after him. [c=purple]*Men like to be chased.[c=purple]*

He will scream and not look back; because he just fell in LOVE with you. There for he wont see you saying your name and number. So be prepared to bring an uncanny amount of [c=red]Roses or Chocolate boxes with a slip of paper giving this information.

Now while you chase after him, you MUST Throw your
Roses or Chocolate boxes at his face/head! If this fails, most likely cuz of your shitty Throwing skills, you must put on roller blades and speed up to him. (injury in this process is not our fault) Once you are close to him, you just jump on him and make him fall. Warning: Doing this around Cliffs could accidentally kill him and/or you.

Once on top of him, you must say, "got you. you pussy little BITCH!" this must be said, there for he knows your boss, and he wont slap you for not being in the kitchen. Also, he will like it, knowing that you will be the man in the relationship expecally in sex. Now say, "Suck my dick, and take it in the ass!" very loudly in his face. There for he knows that sex with you is going to be fun. He might at this point have a very fearful and/or Horrified facial expression. And there might be a chance that he will run away again. so grab him and take him to your house/apt/trailer. There you must make him fall in love with you! Chain him up in the bathroom/bedroom, till he falls for your love. everytime he says, "I don't love you!" Just break his legs. Simple as that, this is fo sure going to make him love you and appreciate you!


Now back to if you couldn't catch up with him! If he doesn't notice the gifts cuz of his run, you must start stalking him!! Follow him around.
Learn his: Name, age, address, where he works, who his friends are, his day routine, etc. know the basic and even advance things that make up your new man. If he happens to get a new GF while you study him 24/7, cut the bitch out the picture, what ever you have to do. Make her go away!! Once you have learned your mans daily routen and habits you can present yourself to him. Make yourself look ugly and unattractive. There for he will not fall only for your looks but for the person inside. so instead of looking pretty like you always do, Look creepy, un-healthy, and someone that you wouldn't want to get near, and unstable in the head. Don't comb out that bed head for 5 days and your hear will be nappy fo sho. He will be amazed by your sence of style and fashion. Also, he will be surprised to see the amount of Zits and unknown bumbs on your face! Make your face look super oily. Next you must add Shark Blue eye shadow, along with red lip colour and an un-matching lip liner that is put on very thing and uneven! This will make you look easy and cheap.

Now finally, present yourself to him! Tell him everything you know about him. Like: His daily habbits, routen, food he's eaten in the past week, and so much more. He will be amazed at how much you know him, and fall in love with you! He will slowly start to back up from you, cuz he is overwelmed. Just simpily hand-cuff him to your arm. simple as that! Now just take him home, and repeat the Taking home step from before! But remember to keep the key near, so you can hock him to your bed!

It will work, he will become yours. Forced or willing!

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